the things you can't hear

i have placed things on my heart & left them there for several weeks & months now. i've arrived at age 24 finding that friends must be trusted & to go silent on the things of the heart feels good. i love that feeling. in fact, for two months i've been addicted to that feeling: the silence of the heart.

i just feel like i'm locking things up with God. and that i've been given some sort of right to do that. what i don't like is this void in my life. i feel like i'm missing something huge. and it all has to do with silence.

it's almost as if i've taken a vow of silence in efforts to fill the void. it feels like fasting, because it takes great self-control. i've grown up in the church -- i've been going to church my entire life. they say that Jesus fills the voids of our heart. in fact, if i had to explain Jesus Christ to someone, i would probably have to walk them through emptiness. i can't describe it.

it's probably time i start believing that Jesus fills voids.