psalm 90. a mediation on it.

if a thousand years to You are like grass sprouting up then that counts for about 5 days, because I cut my grass about every five days and every week when i cut the grass, new grass just completely replaces the old and nothing really remains but that old lawnmower which has been owned by someone for decades. and decades pass, but yet this grass-cutting machine continues to guzzle unleaded fuel like i drink espresso and though its blades seem like somewhat of a safety hazard to me, the grass continues to need cutting. behold, the old is gone and the new has sprung forth. yes indeed, new life has sprung forth, the week's grass has sprung forth, a new generation of people in desperation has sprung forth and who will mow the grass this week?

wednesday, april the eleventh

i'm on vacation for the next five days. i looked into buying a laptop today and i went so close to living outside my means. but i talked some financial sense into myself like i was raised to do and determined that emptying my savings account for a $2800 macbook was not in my better interest. i will be reading (and writing) much over the next few days as i retreat to rediscover the things to which God has called me.

my life consists of blessing upon blessing upon blessing upon blessing upon blessing. my career has begun @ BR and I believe those who surround me are some of the most talented, brilliant and dynamic individuals. i am daily inspired. could one ask to be inspired 365 days/year? i am working the dream job. thank you, God. thank you, dear Lord. thank you, Jesus. praise to You for blessing upon blessing upon blessing.

the things you can't hear

i have placed things on my heart & left them there for several weeks & months now. i've arrived at age 24 finding that friends must be trusted & to go silent on the things of the heart feels good. i love that feeling. in fact, for two months i've been addicted to that feeling: the silence of the heart.

i just feel like i'm locking things up with God. and that i've been given some sort of right to do that. what i don't like is this void in my life. i feel like i'm missing something huge. and it all has to do with silence.

it's almost as if i've taken a vow of silence in efforts to fill the void. it feels like fasting, because it takes great self-control. i've grown up in the church -- i've been going to church my entire life. they say that Jesus fills the voids of our heart. in fact, if i had to explain Jesus Christ to someone, i would probably have to walk them through emptiness. i can't describe it.

it's probably time i start believing that Jesus fills voids.

i'm thankful for...

+ the perfect job
+ a kick-butt creative director
+ music that takes me back to summer 2004
+ endlessly talented co-workers
+ my parents
+ singleness
+ the maturity that exudes one the age of 24 years
+ photoshop brushes
+ helping others